This Week In Co-Op: Crackdown - Pacific City Vice

10/8/2010 at 12:24 AM

"With only one week to retirement, the last thing that any grizzled veteran needed was a rookie fresh from the academy.  This goes doubly when your beat is the crime riddled metropolitan of Pacific City.  With three gangs dominating the three different islands, DjinniMan and I (Samoza), were about to embark on a deadly mission.  I’m getting too old for this …… type of game.

Like me, the original Crackdown is getting on in age, but despite being around since early 2007 (the game, not me) it holds up surprisingly well.  Whilst my agent was 5 stars throughout, DjinniMan’s was not so well endowed.  In fact, he was so small that I had to get him to stand on a car so that we could talk face to face.  Not one to brag, I instantly took to bounding buildings in a single leap, throwing skips, and taking a dip in the various swimming pools doted around the islands.  Despite our vastly different skill levels, there was still plenty to play for in DjinniMan’s game as he had yet to uncover many of the gang leaders on the islands – and in turn had not put a stop to their dastardly doings.

5 leading members of the Los Muertos gang were to have their comeuppance this day.  At first, they were all cocksure having spotted the tiny Man known only as Djinni.  But wait!  What is that giant form standing beside him?  Surely it is not a man?  This Colossus of Rhodes made flesh, behold! For it is I, Samoza, and I come equipped with missile launchers, a powerful punch, and a kick arse car!  Between the two (well, one and a half really…) of us we cleaned the streets of the Los Muertos filth – and had a great time doing it!"


So, yeah, I'm the small guy flying through the air.

"I was top of my class at the academy.  Top 5% in shooting accuracy and cardio fitness.  Bench pressed 15 lbs. more than the next best agent.  One of the best drivers ever to go through the academy, if my instructors were telling the truth.  To say I thought I was ready to take down an army of thugs was a bit of an understatement.  In my mind, I was the biggest, baddest thing to ever hit Pacific City.

I strutted around, jumping across buildings, tossing car doors at drug pushers, shooting anything that flashed gang signs and not looking back.  I must have taken down dozens of bad guys that day, and for a while, I was king of the world.

Then, Samoza showed up.

He was a good foot and a half taller than me, and twice as broad across the shoulders.  He could run circles around me, then jump off to some remote rooftop out of reach.  I was thinking I was pretty bad in my stolen hot rod, until Samoza ran over a handful of gangsters in his totally pimped out SUV.  Which could also drive straight up walls.  Talk about being taken down a peg.

I lifted a little sports car and used it like a baseball bat, desperately trying to impress the veteran.  With absolutely no deference to my ego, he picked up a bus and threw it the length of a football field.  He didn't speak a word against me at all, but flashed the slightest hint of a grin.

The worst of all was right before we took down the last crime lord.  With the hook-handed drug czar in my sights, I ran up, eager to take him down and earn at least one nice kill for the night.  That's when I heard the hissing rush of a rocket fly by my head, and then my world turned all black.  I woke up at one of the supply depots, dazed.

Apparently, we rookies aren't "man enough" to take even a collateral blast from a veteran's rocket launcher.  I could practically hear Samoza laughing at me all the way across the island."