This Week in Co-Op: Joust Club

4/13/2011 at 9:49 PM

I am Joust’s co-op partner.

Listen up, buzzard bait. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same dented-armor ostrich-smelling wimp as everyone else.

Welcome to Joust Club.

The first rule of Joust Club is: you do not talk about Joust Club.

The second rule of Joust Club is: you DO NOT talk about Joust Club.

Third rule of Joust Club is: you WILL DIE on the first level. Every time. Plan on it. Learn from it.

Fourth rule: pick top or bottom and STAY THERE. Do not get all fancy and swoop in on that egg. You could kill your partner.

Fifth rule: if it’s an egg level, you better bust your bird’s nuts to pick ‘em up before they hatch.

Sixth: No one knows why the eggs hatch riders. Don’t ask.

Now, a question of etiquette... as I pass, do I give you the butt or the beak?

It must've been Tuesday. He chose the cornflower-blue rider.

What do you wish you’d have done before you die? Get to wave 100. Collect all the eggs before they hatch. Get past that damn double pterodactyl wave. What do you wish you had done? Never been in a joust huh? That’s not a good thing. How can you know yourself if you've never done Joust? Come on, ok? Ok....here we go.

Oh what the hell man, you just landed right on me. That’s not co-op.

These are your quarters and they are disappearing one life at a time.

Give em the beak.

I am Joust’s smirking revenge.

 

I am Marc Allie.  I am Nick Puleo.