Co-Op Casual Fridays is usually a fairly relaxed column. After all, we're talking about games that appeal to young players, and even non-gamers, like LEGO Star Wars. Cute and enjoyable is what we do, here. Today, though, we change directions, and I'll share with you a harrowing tale of death-defying, madness-inducing consumerism at it's very worst: attempting to buy the AC/DC Rock Band Track Pack. On the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, 2008. At a Wal-mart Supercenter. At 4:30 in the morning!
My wife and I are Black Friday veterans, for about 10 years now. Every year, I tell myself I won't go back out early on Black Friday ever again. As the day approached in 2008, I said I'd go out, but not go to Wal-Mart, still reeling from the "Great Transformers Incident of 2007". (Trust me, you don't want the details.) As always, my bargain sense won out, and we did go out after all. The AC/DC Rock Band Track Pack had recently been released, and there was a bundle in the Wal-mart ad that included the game, a concert DVD, and a sweet AC/DC T-Shirt that I knew my oldest son would love. Deep in the back of my mind, I knew it was a bad idea, but we woke up at 3:30, stopped for tea and coffee, and headed to a Wal-mart Supercenter we'd had success with before.
Most years, this particular Wal-Mart was fairly organized, at least as far as employees go; it's usually the other shoppers you have to worry about. Not so this year. Apparently, for the biggest shopping day of the year, the manager forgot to have a meeting to go over anything with his workers. Here's a short list of "/facepalm moments" we suffered due to the incompetency on display by Wal-Mart employees that day.
As soon as we walked in, we asked a checkout clerk where the store maps were, since all the Black Friday deals are typically in weird places, i.e. DVDs in the frozen goods and kids' pajamas in the automotive department. The clerk told me she hadn't seen them but knew they were out there somewhere. How incredibly useful! It turned out a lady standing about 10 feet from said cashier was handing out the maps. /facepalm #1.
When 5 AM finally hit, I was waiting in the line for electronics, as I wanted to pick up some cheap Blu-rays in addition to the AC/DC pack. I had waited in this line for about 45 minutes, yet I could have just picked up the Blu-rays earlier, because the line I was waiting in was for "behind the counter" items, which to me, as a former bookstore employee means, Playboy or Penthouse. I walked around, fighting old ladies in sweatpants, hunting for the Blu-rays, when a fellow shopper states that the regular items off the shelf aren't the ones on sale, and you have to locate the proper display shelf with the Black Friday deals. It seemed odd, but an employee verified it, so I put my catch back on the shelves and went off in search of the land of discounted Blu-rays.
On the way, I asked the first employee under the age of 40 I saw where the discounted Blu-rays are. "Blu-rays?" she said, deer-in-headlights style. "I don't know what that is." /facepalm #2. High def movies, I inform her, and upon hearing the word "movies" she directs me to the grocery aisles. Remember what I said earlier, about DVDs in the frozen foods? Yup, it was all DVDs, no Blu-rays to be found. I'm pretty upset at this point, as I've been wandering around for 30 minutes and all I have is a copy of Spaceballs on DVD for $2 that I grabbed more out of spite than anything.
I ran into a friend we'd arrived with, and he told me that the DVDs are scanning as the sale price no matter where you get them. I fought through the herd of grumpy scary people to get the Blu-rays I had already grabbed once but put back. ARGH! Heading back to the electronics desk, I asked about the AC/DC Rock Band bundle. The first employee gives me a blank stare and asked if I meant "that guitar game". When I told her I didn't, she asked the lady next to her. Lady #2 asked the lady next to her, and Lady #3 asked the manager-type next to her. At last, manager-type knew what I meant, dug around in a box behind the counter (which I would have predicted was full of cheescake mags) and handed me a copy of the AC/DC pack! At last!
I walked off, relieved, and a bit irked at a man who had just run over my foot with his shopping cart. My mood swung back the other way when I noticed I was holding the PS3 version. ARGH! again. I fought back to the electronics desk like a salmon heading to the spawning grounds and finally obtained the correct version. /facepalm #3.
Now, here's the best part. Remember the map? According to it, all the toys in the ad were in front of the Toys department. Seems natural, right? One problem: the toys section is about 100 feet across, with wall to wall people, and if you just want one thing, who knows where it is? Why even have a map if it doesn't tell you where specific items are? Resigned to my cruel fate, I make my way back to the toys, and ask an employee opening up boxes where the Power Rangers Helmets are. "I don't even know what that is!" she informs me, in a sassy tone, practically snapping her fingers in Z-formation at me. /facepalm #4.
I kid you not: at this point, a lady standing beside me actually shoves the BF ad in the rude, useless employee's face, points to the page with the helmet, and says "THIS ONE RIGHT HERE". Of course, that didn't help. She still had no idea where the helmets were, even after being shown a picture of one. I got the impression she thought we had forged the ad, though to her credit I was having some criminal thoughts towards her at that moment.
Weary, I met my wife and we checked out. The rest of the day was far more fortuitous, and we were able to get many of the bargains we had hoped for. But the AC/DC Rock Band Track Pack was the one I had fought the hardest for, and wanted the most, so I was particularly proud when my son grinned and thanked me profusely when he opened it. He put the T-shirt on immediately, and watched the concert DVD that day, but we weren't able to enjoy the track pack until a few days afterward. It was definitely worth the wait.
All in all, that bundle was probably the best $39.88 I've ever spent. I got to spend an afternoon rocking out with my oldest son to some truly awesome AC/DC tunes. Viewing the concert DVD gave him a real interest in picking up some of the band's other music. Plus, he still wears the T-shirt quite a bit; in fact, I saw him wearing it earlier this week. Best of all, I have the crazy memory of a truly insane morning I spent, weary with fatigue and yet glossy-eyed at the promise of value, in a place more intimidating and dangerous than any on earth: a Wal-mart Supercenter on Black Friday.
