News | 10/23/2013 at 11:00 AM

GTA Online Stimulus Package Drops this Week; Repeat Mission Payouts Halved

Everybody's freaking rich!

My condolences if you were one of those who lost a character in the great Grand Theft Auto Online launch of 2013. I know that no words can replace what you have lost, and the memories of gunning down cops and beating hookers to death with a nine iron will always bring warmth to your heart, etc, etc. In the meantime, everybody else who didn't lose a thing can reap the rewards of your suffering in the form of the GTA$ stimulus package; half of which drops this very week! Nothing can give you back your character, but maybe that hole can be partially filled by half a million dollars.

This news is joined with some more somber issues. In a recent patch, Rockstar has altered the way repeat missions work. While you retrieve the full payout your first time through a mission, subsequent runs will see that scrilla chopped in half. It's all part of Rockstar's plan to balance the economy in the face of giving every man woman and child in Los Santos 500G's. 

Good thing this takes place in a virtual environment. If this were a real world economic situation, haircuts would suddenly cost sixty grand and rates for working girls would no doubt go sky high. 

Though, if I were a street thug that'd rob a liquor store for a few hundred bucks, $500,000 suddenly dropping into my lap might make me deviate from my criminal lifestyle. Why punch a pedestrian until money falls out of him if I'm already halfway to being a millionaire? I'd better start playing the part if I'm going to own all this beachfront property as a summer home.