by wildcard zen

GoW 3: Seriously 3.0! How long should a big achievement take to unlock?

I've spent a little time looking up what tricks people are coming up with to unlock what has to be the most difficult achievement of all time to unlock on Xbox Live:  "Seriously 3.0" on Gears of War 3.  For those that are living under a rock and don't know about this yet - it's a 100 GS chievo that reqiures hitting rank 100 and unlocking all 65 Onyx Level medals.

But as Gearheads have come to learn, those Onyx medals have very heavy goals, like 6000 kills with a Lancer, play 3000 matches in Warzone, or complete the Campaign in Arcade on Insane difficulty.  That's just 3 of the goals.

So - how much of your life is Epic Games asking from you to accomplish this - here's a breakdown in how much time it will take. 

Now, many of the medals can be stacked.  Battle Mistress for example is playing 1000 matches with a female character, for example (hence why there are so many "chicks" on Gears 3 multiplayer lately.)  So this is will focus on medals that can be measured in actual time.

Also, this will not include the "War Supporter" medal, since that requires playing in 30 Special Events on the calendar - and no one but Epic can tell when the 30th qualifying event will be.  Could be in November 2011, could be in November 2025.

We start with the Game modes.  Warzone, Execution, King of the Hill, and Capture the Leader can all be played in 1 minute matches.  Easy math - that's 12,000 minutes to Onyx all of them bare minimum. (That's 8 days, 8 hours straight without sleep, eating while playing, and wearing Depends so you don't leave the chair.)

Wingman and Team Deathmatch can vary depending on how they are played.  The shortest Wingman I've managed to get to about 2:00.  Team Deathmatch with 10 respawns usually takes about 2:00 also, factoring in the 15 second respawn window and the 5 seconds of Spawn Protection.  That adds another 8 days and 8 hours.  We're now at half a month of no potty breaks and no sleep (16 days, 16 hours.)

Now we have Horde and Beast modes.  Horde can be beaten within about 3 hours time with a good team, Mutators on, and a good strategy.  Beast in about an hour, since it's only 12 waves (But has to be beaten without a wave failing.)  That rounds us up to 17 days even.  But wait - then there's "Hoarder" - Play 2000 waves of Horde!  Averaging 2 minutes a wave - that's another 3 days (rounded up to the nearest hour.)

20 days.

Whoops, there's "Beastly!"  600 waves of Beast. At 2 minutes a wave, there's another 20 hours.

If that's too long to go without sleep wearing a loaded diaper, here comes the Arcade/Campaign Medals.  If you stack them, then we can use Aficionado as our measuring stick - 500 chapters in Arcade.  If you play just the Epilogue over and over - the shortest chapter in the game at 2 minutes, that's rounded to 17 hours.

I almost forgot -you do have to play the entire campaign at least TWICE - once on any difficulty and once on INSANE - unless you stack the insane with Arcade play.  Roughly, an 11 hour campaign if I can quote Mr. TsxHurricane!

FINAL TOTAL: 22 days. Non-stop, No Sleep, Eat while playing, extra absorbant No leak with Odor Control Pull-Ups! 

OH!  And you must win every match, play as a girl, get all headshots, play on INSANE difficulty on Horde, Beast, and Arcade, score the highest in all modes - THEN take time to pick up map weapons and make lots of kills, and my personal favorite - DIE 5 TIMES BY THE SAME PLAYER, THEN FIND HIM AND PERFORM AN EXECUTION - 500 TIMES!

So - without sleeping, eating while playing, and either wearing Depends or having your entertainment system in your bathroom - you can realistically have this achievement unlocked by. . . (Drum-roll please!)

. . . October 13, 2011 - IF Epic Games held 30 Special Event by then.

As for those Special Events for the "War Supporter" Onxy Medal - well, today is Ticker Tuesday - the FOURTH Special Event since the Gears 3 release.

SO! If you encounter anyone that has Seriously 3.0 unlocked today - you can call them a Stinky-Pants No Life who needs some sleep - and be pretty accurate.  Or they hacked their game and you should File Complaint on them immediately.

Now, the real question - if you really want to get this achievement, can you do it without boosting? What say you, Co-Oppers?


*No I haven't forgotten that "War Supporter" achievement glitched for some people on release day.  This is for other Xbox Players that will poop their pants to get an achievement.

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