I like to consider myself a Master of Bargains. This is no proud boast, but the label given to someone who spends far too much time hunting around in bargain bins. I am Samoza, and I am a bargain addict. I love the thrill of finding a cheap game and taking it home. Many times these games have been dismissed by the critics, but at £10/$17 who can argue? With co-op in mind, I have found myself buying two copies of the same game so that I can inflict one on a friend. The likes of Tom Clancy’s HAWX and Tenchu Z have been bought in duplicate for under £20; both of these were nice co-op titles. Could my latest purchase keep up the standard for my cheapo buys? Co-Optimus warned me that Fairytale Fights had its problems – was I right to dismiss them?
I have often found that most games are better played in co-op. Even something as repetitive and dull as the wobbly flesh men in Kingdom under Fire: Circle of Doom, are made amusing by having a pal or three along. “What’s that?” You cry in anguish. “A wobbly fleshman,” is the obvious reply. With this in mind, any game that is playable in co-op has some merit, even if it is a backdrop for you and some friends to have a chat. As a man I refuse to speak on the telephone, but over LIVE, its just plain politeness. Therefore, for a fun co-op experience all I need is a co-op pal and a decent server.
After an hour or so of repetitive hack and slash action my friend and I had completed Act 1 of Fairytale Fights and were enjoying it enough. This is no game of genius, the curious mix of cute fairytale characters and ultra violence just does not work. The child audience are prevented from playing the game due to the levels of gore, whilst a lot of hardcore gamers will be unsure of the cute graphics. It is for this reason, and the fact that the controls suck, that the game was already in the reject bin. However, this was no real problem for a man who has completed Too Human. I am used to completing below average games and they have not stopped me yet. What almost did stop me was the poor programming.
Tenchu Z is possibly the worst co-op game I have played online in terms of ropey servers. More than once my character became stuck in the wall or jerked around the screen with all the agile grace of a constipated elephant. However, is a game too bad when you can trade it in for more than you paid for, like I did for Tenchu Z? Another game that springs to mind is the first Army of Two. EA’s famous servers made my pal and I the least effective mercenaries since the time someone who was in trouble phoned up the B Team by mistake. At times the sniper sections proved unplayable. All these issues pale in comparison to Fairytale Fights.
The final part of Act 2 in Fairytale Fights is very dull. You are forced to repeat similar looking rooms for around 20 minutes then finally fight a boss in the form of a giant Witch. After climbing a giant spherical chamber, my pal and I reached the Witch. Behold! We fought well and slowly her energy bar began to whither, but where was my co-op partner? Had he abandoned me in a peak of anxiety? Had his internet connection faltered? No, I could still hear him. His character had just disappeared. Resolute I carried on regardless, alone, playing a co-op game by myself as my cohort remained stuck in limbo. And then the Witch disappeared.
The boss vanished.
Good news. My mate came back. However, now we had two players and no boss to kill. We were stuck in perhaps the most irritating glitch I have ever had in over 20 years of gaming. The type of glitch, which before this generation, would have not been allowed. We now live in a world were the online patch is king, to the extent that developers will seemingly release half finished games with the knowledge that they can always fix a problem later – if the game sells and they can be bothered. Games like Castle Crashers and ‘Splosion Man had started life with poor servers, but work was quickly done to improve them. Fairytale Fights had not been patched.
What happened dearest reader? Of course we played the extremely boring level again, but many people have not. Trueachievements.com is a site that provides statistics on what percentage of people who own a game complete certain achievements. In Fairytale Fights 66% of people complete Act 1, whilst only 41% complete Act 2. These statistics show that, not only have a shocking amount of people not even bothered to complete the first act, but a drop off of 25% happens leading up to the Witch.
The moral of this story? You can make your game as rubbish as you like because no matter how poor the experience you throw at us, we co-op gamers will have fun together. But, please fix game breaking glitches before releasing the product!
(At the time of writing I have been unable to coax my friend out of his fear induced coma to play Act 5 of the game)