Total War: Rome II

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Turn Nature Against Your Foes in the Beasts of War Pack for Total War: Rome II
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Turn Nature Against Your Foes in the Beasts of War Pack for Total War: Rome II

When boiling oil just isn't enough.

It's no secret that Total War: Rome II had a pretty rough launch. Creative Assembly has been furiously patching the game to high heaven since the week of its release, and they still aren't done trying to fix all the bugs still plaguing the game. Speaking of bugs, they've decided to just embrace irony at the highest level and put actual, physical bugs in the game itself. Scorpions count as bugs, right?

The "Beasts of War" Pack is now available for $2.99 on Steam. This little bit of DLC adds special "beast" units to some of the factions, and they are straight up terrifying.

Check out the trailer to see what kinds of horrible things you can do to your enemies.

Some of these things are just bizarre. I totally get slapping armor onto a camel and having them charge into battle. And I am one hundred percent behind hopping onto an elephant and teaching it that Romans legionaries make really good foot cream. And yeah, it's pretty cruel, but feeding dogs on a diet exclusively of jugular veins would probably turn them into hardcore shock troops.

But flinging a bee hive into a crowd of shirtless Celts? Come on, guys. Now you're just being mean. And using a ballista to fire a clay pot full of live scorpions at live troops? You people out to be ashamed of yourselves.

This kind of behavior is what would today be known as a "war crime." And with good reason! Those snakes didn't choose to be employed in some kind of poison grenade. Just hit the bad guys with arrows. It'll do the job just as well, and you won't risk dropping a pot and really ruining your buddy's day.

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