You're at the dentist's office, perusing a three-year-old copy of Highlights. You're crushing the Hidden Pictures puzzle, easily spotting items that have yet to be circled. Your total dominance of the children's magazine brings back memories of the previous night's Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 shellacking you took at the hands of what were clearly uncouth, cheating adolescents. Their wicked laughter causes you to shudder, drawing stares from other waiting patients. Hanging your head in shame, you pause for inward reflection, knowing you were bested by boorish children half you age.
Suddenly, it comes to you, as if your mind has been touched by an FPS angel; the perfect loadout! Perks, weapon attachments, and Killstreak rewards efficiently fall into place as you replay last night's match shot for shot, death for death. You see everything. You are the perfect digital warrior. xXn00b2002Xx and his minions won't stand a chance against your onslaught of Pro Perks and Predator Missiles.
The receptionist is calling your name. You're being summoned to the D.D.S. dungeon to have your face gassed off so that they can fix a year's worth of poor brushing and non-existent flossing. Surely you won't remember your perfect loadout after Dr. Driller has finished with you. What do you do? Do you accept your fate, and succumb to the laughing gas of eternal sadness? Or, do you jump up and sprint for home, screaming about how you need to kill a 10 year old, knowing that you have at least 20 good teeth left in your head? WHAT DO YOU DO?
Luckily for you, the good folks at Activision imagined this exact scenario. So they made an app for it:
The "Call of Duty: Elite" mobile app is now available on iOS through the iTunes app store. With this free app you'll be able to track your career stats, match performance, and challenge progress. Check your friends stats or gasp at your enemy's K/D ratios. You'll also be able to customize your loadouts so that you'll be ready to rock as soon as you fire up the game. The "CoD: Elite" app will be available for Android systems next week. Now you can keep your teeth and you don't have to go to jail for threatening a 10 year old!
In other Call of Duty news, Activision picked up BlackOps2.com, which should come as no surprise to anyone. (They have already acquired BlackOps3 through BlackOps6.) If the game is developed by Treyarch, we expect updates to the Call of Duty: Black Ops four player co-op Zombie mode, as well as the six player co-op Combat Training, something I missed in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.