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New Video for Catherine Explains Everything You Need to Know About Relationships
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New Video for Catherine Explains Everything You Need to Know About Relationships

Just what the heck is going on up there?  Oh, that's just some expertly cropped box art from Catherine, a new game coming out in July.  Let's see if we can deduce what this game is about from the above image.... We have some sheep... we have a little Japanese writing (shocker)... looks like some gender symbols... and there's something else... Hmm... A certain je ne sais quoi... That's French for "Dude trapped in giant boobies," right?  Because there's definitely a dude trapped in a giant pair of ta-tas up there.  Did I mention this game is on the Xbox 360 and PS3?  Because it is.  I've heard about games like this, but they're usually on the PC, the devil's gaming system.  Some of the bachelors on the Co-Optimus staff are insisting this game has co-op, but I don't really think they have a proper handle on the term.  Want to know more?  Simply read on for a pleasant video that explains exactly what this game is all about.  Protip: I'm lying.

The screaming starts at the :47 mark.  And that's all you need to know about relationships

Well, that wasn't very helpful.  That was about as useful as the last Catherine video we posted, and that was in Japanese.  But hey, if you're going to juggle two girls, it helps if they have the same name (or so I've heard).  

According to Wikipedia, which has never let me down, Catherine is an erotic horror, puzzle platformer, adventure game.   The main game, called "Golden Theater"  will have two gameplay scenarios, Daytime and Nightmare.  The Daytime mode involves speaking with NPC's and hanging out at the Stray Sheep bar.  The Nightmare scenarios involve puzzle platforming.  This is where the meat of the gameplay takes place.  Vincent, the main character, must climb a giant tower while the lower portions continually collapse and fall away.  You'll encounter bosses and other enemies as you progress.  Catherine will have a cooperative mode, called "Babel" where the platforming stages will be playable by two characters.  Conversely, there's also a "Vs Colosseum" mode which features two players competing against each other to reach the top of the tower.  So there you have it.  There's a game in there after all. 

Catherine will be heading stateside on July 26.  If you get the Deluxe Edition, it comes with a pillowcase.  Seriously.

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