Which one wears the pants?
I have found a new way to test a marriage and that is to start a band with your wife. How Paul and Linda McCartney did it for so many years amazes me now.
When starting a band, there are several factors to consider. You would think that finding competent musicians would be high on the list but no, finding a cool band name that nobody else is using is first and foremost. Lucky for our band "Lollapalosers", the Rock Band games make all this much easier to do.
Band name? Check.
Being the outstanding heavy metal guitarist that I was for so many years, there was only one choice of instrument for me and that was lead guitar. Ok, so really that means that in the eighties and ninties I played a whole lot of power chords on a used guitar and an even more used amp while listening to ballads played by a bunch of hair bands.
I won't get into the saxophone and marching band part of my life history unless they add a plastic sax to Rock Band at some point. Of course then they would need to add some Hall and Oates tunes to the game so I could play the solo to "Maneater", and don't even get me started about Spandau Ballet... but I digress.
My wife had been a singer with one of those fancy choirs when she was younger but she decided that she would rather play the drums. I think it was just so she could take out her daily frustrations on those poor pieces of plastic.
Band members? Check.
Thanks to Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, we knew that actually learning how to play was the last thing you had to worry about so we both started out on "Easy". Of course with my lightning fast fingers and the fact that yes; I am just that metal, I quickly made the jump to "Medium".
Me being the proficient musician I am, and her being a complete novice with her chosen instrument, I thought that there still needed to be a way to gauge our progress and a way for me to be able to... I hesitate to say "rub her nose in it", but there you have it. I mean if your relationship can't handle a little trash talking, then what's the point?
Anyway, I told her that with my obvious knowledge of all things metal, I should be able to play at at least one level higher and still be able to beat her score. She agreed and we played a few more songs. Very soon percentages became an issue. She asked if her score of 80% on "Easy" would really be better than my score of 79% on "Medium"?
Only taking into account that those rock gods in the sky would always be in my favor, "Of course it would be." was my reply.
Soon after that, those gods of rock that I have held in such high regard for so many years turned their backs on me.
Not more than a song or two later, her score actually beat mine by a very small margin.
"I WIN!" she exclaimed.
Now my wife is not a sore loser by any stretch, but she really, really, reeeeeeeally enjoys winning. As I stood there looking at her with that big grin on her face I realized that maybe I had been a bit hasty in choosing just how to handicap myself but of course, it was too late now.
I fixed my gaze on her and with a sneer I said, "So that's the way you want to play it eh?", but she just laughed.